Good etiquette: rules of conduct to maximize efficiency and to keep costs down while benefiting the greater good.

Bad etiquette: rules of conduct that allows one to covertly spotlight one’s narcissistic needs (eg. recognition as world’s nicest person) at the expense of the greater good.

If placing an order:

  • Don’t ask how we’re doing. You don’t see what’s going on on our end so don’t waste time.
  • Place your order in as few words as possible to minimize communication errors.  Wait for us to repeat order back to you.  If correct, let us know it’s correct. If incorrect, start over and repeat process.

If you want to speak to manager or owner

  • Don’t ask how we’re doing.  You don’t see what’s going on on our end so don’t waste time with small talk.
  • Identify yourself and the purpose of your call immediately, before you ask to speak to someone, and especially before you start trying to sell us this and that.

*Failure to follow etiquette means we’ll hang up on you.
* It’s bad manners to ask how someone is doing if you don’t care how they’re doing.


  • There are NO lines. Don’t even think about starting one, the space isn’t designed for that.
  • Take your time to decide, but CALL OUT your order the MOMENT you decide, even if you don’t see anyone or all employees look busy. Unlike most everyone else in your life, we’re always listening to you, even when we’re busy.
  • Wait for someone to confirm your order.  Once confirmed, chill/hangout/relax.  Lots of cool toys for you to play with while waiting for order.
  • You DON’T need to SHOUT out your order unless the blenders are on or you’re calling out your order from like the bathroom or the dance studio.  Just be loud enough that someone will hear you.
  • DON’T start asking other customers if they were there first.  Or if they’d like to go ahead of you — especially when it’s clear they’re not ready to order — even though you’re ready to order. Such behavior won’t get you into the Kingdom of Heaven, God will go Sodom and Gomorrah on people who pull that kind of shit because it’s an example of covert narcissism.

* Failure to follow etiquette means no service or the worst service you’ll ever experience. So bad that you’ll remember it on your deathbed.

*Those who follow etiquette get perks, like free chips and brownies, and get the best service they’ll ever experience in the whole_wide_world.


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Once upon a time, she didn’t follow etiquette. So she got hit by a bus and lost her limbs. Now she follows etiquette.  Now she’s happy, even without her limbs!  You can be happy like her too if you follow etiquette.




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