Menu philosophy
Less is more and less tastes the best
Menu goals
- maximize nutritional value per dollar spent by customer
- simplify inventory management and minimize risk for the business
24 oz. Smoothies, $7
Tropical Northwest
Apple, Pineapple, Banana, Carrot Juice
The Nasty Shit
If you insist on getting what the owner drinks. Additional $1 to fix the drink to your liking if you don’t like it.
Green Margarita
Kale/Collard Greens, Apple, Pineapple, Mango, Banana, Soy Milk
Kale Smoothie
Kale/Collard Greens, Apple, Orange, Banana, Mango, Ginger, Green-tea Carrot Juice
Tropical Breakfast
Orange, Pineapple, Banana, Carrot Juice
Tropical Bugs Bunny
Pineapple, Mango, Banana, Carrot Juice
Sleazy Slavik (is a) Dickhead
Cactus, Orange, Pineapple, Banana, Green Tea
Coconut Juice or Smoothie
Free range young Thai coconut hacked in front of you.
Juices $5.00 for 16 oz., $7.00 for 24 oz. Served over ice. Ask for “no ice” if you don’t want ice.
Veggie Juice
Kale/Collard, Beet, Celery, Carrot, Lemon, Ginger
Attitude Cleanse
It’s the Veggie Juice with less carrot, more ginger, add cayenne (to your liking) and seasonal veggies of the day. It’s the least sweet of all the juices.
Green Energizer
Kale/Collard Greens, Apple, Celery, Cucumber, Lemon, Ginger
Phreaky Phil Dickhead
Pineapple, Carrot
The Basic Bitch
Carrot, Orange
The ExErcist
Kale/Collard, Beet, Celery Carrots, Apple, Lemon, Ginger
Celery Juice Only
Contains too much salt but if you really want us to make it, we will.
Detox Shots
$4.00 for double Turmeric-Ginger. Pineapple penis included.
Hot Drinks
$5.00 for 16 oz (tax included)
Green Awakening
Green tea, raw honey, lots of ginger, lemon
Protein shakes (smoothies with protein added), $7.00 for 24 oz.
Butterfinger
Watermelon, Apple, Banana, Peanut Butter, Carrot Juice
Popeye’s Secret
Kale/Collard Green, Apple, Orange, Banana, Lemon, Mango, Ginger, Green-Tea Carrot Juice
Power Meal
Yam, Apple, Peanut Butter, Soy Milk
The Iditarod
Apple, Pineapple, Banana, Soy Milk
The Supermodel ($8)
Avocado, kale/collard green ginger, lemon, cucumber. No fruit.
Wheatgrass
Jamba Juice sells it, we don’t.
Acai Bowls
Are stupid. I hate them, I want to buy one so I can throw it at someone.
Add-Ons, #1
Flax Seed
Extra peanut butter
Almonds
Extra Protein
Vegan protein (instead of default whey protein)
Blessing (non-denominational)
Curse (non-denominational)
Good Service (includes smile and lasts 2 minutes)
Bad Service (your choice of being called “Fuckface” or “Monkey Jizz”)
Request to Change Music
Flirting (includes wink)
CALORIE GUIDE
7 inch banana, average girth = 100
1 cup of mixed fruit = 100
2 tbl peanut butter = 200
Typical smoothie without greens = 250-300 calories. More greens means fewer calories.
