Intro to “How to Eat Like an Asshole” (book available on kindle and in paperback)

 

I work at a juice bar. Juice bars are unlike conventional restaurants because their purpose isn’t solely to entertain the customer, but also to guide them about health and diet matters. I don’t just cook nutritious drinks and meals that taste good to the customer (taste comes first, taste always comes first), I’m expected to nurse sick customers back to health, to prescribe remedies to heal an injury, and to absolve those who’ve committed dietary debauchery. That’s a lot of conflicting roles and needs to balance — I have to be stern and funny, candid and soothing, and my food has to be salubrious yet pleasurable.

My (sometimes clumsy) attempts at balance to make sense of the absurdities of American life is the driving theme throughout the 17 essays in this book. In the eponymous opening chapter, I show how what’s commonly considered as Anglo-American good table manners is actually bullying masquerading as good breeding that makes eating a tortuous rather than pleasurable experience. Chapter 2, Redneck Food is Healthier Than Stupid Middle Class Food, takes aim at stereotypes about Rednecks and redneck cuisine and posits that it’s actually the diet and sensibilities of the American middle-class that’s fucked up. We segue into chapter 3, Stop Buying This Shit, for more detailed examples of stupid, expensive shit people buy in their attempts to live healthier lives.

In chapter 4, Why We Don’t Carry Wheatgrass, the essay in this book I’m most proud of, we move on to supplements of dubious value. This chapter begins with a take-down of Wheatgrass as a tonic and then asks what our attraction to snake-oils reveals about human nature. Chapter 5, How to Eat With Instincts, is about how and why we’ve learned to stop eating with instincts and how we can get them back. In chapter 6, How to Order the Nasty Shit, you learn how to order the Chinese food Chinese people eat. We pivot, in chapter 7, Why We Eat What We Eat, to a history of American cuisine to  understand how and why certain ingredients became nasty to most Americans.

My juice bar is known for “bad service.” We address this reputation in chapter 8, Why People Prefer Bad Service, which turns middle-class American notions of “good service” on its head to reveal an American middle-class culture rife with politeness grandstanding and obsequious bullying. The topsy-turvy questioning of “good manners” continues in chapter 9, Why Being Nice Will Kill You. Here I note the correlation between nice personalities (personality type C) and diets high in sugar and processed food.  Chapter 10 introduces The Alive Juice Bar Diet that’s not quite a diet. See, balancing!

Chapter 11 asks Why People Hate McDonald’s and I guarantee you it’s not what you think, this will surprise the fuck out of you. Chapter 12, Soy, Men, and Titties, tackles rumors that about soy messing with people’s estrogen levels, making men grow titties. Chapter 13 is about How to Get Kids to Eat Their Veggies and to Love Their Parents because most of them are doing neither.

The final four chapters are about why people are fucked in the head. We begin with Do You Have Feelings about Feelings, in chapter 14 to figure out why Americans are some of the most emotionally repressed and broken people in the history of the world. Chapter 15, How the Cult of Self-Esteem Produces Fuck Ups, looks at the consequences of the self-esteem movement and how self-esteem is wrongly confused with self-confidence and the correlation between the two is actually inverted. Chapter 16, What the Story of Echo and Narcissus Tells Us About Self-Love, is a moralistic re-reading of a tragedy.  Chapter 17, Why People Don’t Change, is about why it’s so hard to get people to change their diets and other habits.

Though the essays are intentionally ordered and grouped, they can be read independently of each other. Enjoy and comments are appreciated and can be sent to Foodyap@gmail.com.

More books coming soon, including “How to Cook Like a Racist,” where we offer cooking tips and lessons in the context of American racial politics.

 

 

What the Story of Echo and Narcissus Tells Us About Self-Love

 

I. What’s worse, a hottie you can’t have who knows he’s a hottie?  Or a hottie you can’t have who has no idea she’s a hottie?  The former rejects you because he thinks he’s too good for you.  The latter because she thinks you’re too good for her.

II. Did Narcissus know he’s a hottie?  All versions of the story I’ve read think he does, but I’m not so sure. Maybe he was just weirded out by all the attention he’d been receiving and wanted it to stop?

III. It’s easy and comforting to feel superior to the hottie who knows she’s a hottie.  “Arrogant, superficial bitch, not worth the trouble,” Larry the lackey tells himself before he runs home to jerk off to rape porn. No such option with the awkward hottie who has no idea he’s gorgeous. Hating him is like hating a puppy you can’t have.

IV. Find it improbable that Narcissus had never seen a reflection of himself until Nemesis, goddess of divine retribution, led him to do so so he’d fall in love with himself. Dude had to have been sipping water from streams and ponds all his life and nothing ever happened, never went on a selfie binge.  It’s more likely that Nemesis replaced his naivety (and nonchalance?) with vanity so when he got a drink at the pond, as he always does, he fell in love with himself and his selfie.

V.   Nemesis doesn’t get much action in the story.  Yet she’s more important than Echo, who is just a foil, and without Nemesis, there’s no Narcissus.  Nemesis doesn’t just punish evil deeds, but also corrects undeserved good fortune, like making sure lazy Larry loses all 10 million of his lotto winnings within five, excruciating years. Born gorgeous?  Don’t think you’re off the hook, and many fashion models would agree.

VI. My interpretation and re-telling of the story: Narcissus is a heart-breaker, not because he’s vain, but because he’s so not.  Nemesis says this needs to stop, people — of dubious virtue — are wasting away because of him. She could turn him ugly, as gods and goddesses sometimes do as punishment, but that’s not retributive if Narcissus doesn’t care if he’s ugly (my theory).  Better to curse him with self-love instead, have him ogle his selfie until he dies. This way he learns what it’s like for others to love him, to suffer as they have.

VII. The point is that Narcissus wasn’t a narcissist until cursed by Nemesis. Narcissus recognizes the reflection as a selfie and his love of it as a disease.  From Ovid’s Metaphorphoses, Book III: 437-473:

 I am he. I sense it and I am not deceived by my own image. I am burning with love for myself. I move and bear the flames. What shall I do? Surely not court and be courted? Why court then? What I want I have. My riches make me poor. O I wish I could leave my own body! Strange prayer for a lover, I desire what I love to be distant from me. Now sadness takes away my strength, not much time is left for me to live, and I am cut off in the prime of youth. Nor is dying painful to me, laying down my sadness in death. I wish that him I love might live on, but now we shall die united, two in one spirit.

Narcissism, or vanity, kills Narcissus. And he knows it.

VIII. Takeaway: OUR nemesis — “the inescapable agent of someone’s or something’s downfall” — then, are those who tell us to love ourselves.  And the moment we engage in self-love is when we begin to die as Narcissus had.

IX. “But self-love has nothing to do with narcissism,” many object.  What’s self-love, then, according to promoters of self-love? Here’s one definition I found online:

Self love is the belief you hold that you are a valuable and worthy person.

Valuable and worthy of what and to whom? According to every great religion and every great philosopher (yes, even Rousseau), everyone is a piece of shit, everyone deserves a life of pain and suffering and anyone who thinks otherwise is going batshit crazy.  But let’s play along and maintain the distinction between self-love and narcissism.  How do you think narcissism begins?  It begins with entitlement and that begins with thinking highly of oneself (“valuable” and “worthy,” regardless of actions and results). Inches down this slope is selfishness, where one thinks one deserves better treatment than do others precisely because one is more “valuable” and “worthy,” than are others. So it’s looking like all signs point to “self-love” and its concomitant theories about “self-esteem” as the breeding ground of narcissism. That explains why Larry the loser can’t figure out, while he’s jerking off, why he doesn’t bang the same hot babes as Sam the surgeon does. Or why mediocre Mina can’t figure out why the man of her dreams doesn’t propose to her and treat her like the beautiful and brilliant princess she thinks she is.  Would this explain why everyone has the same complaint — narcissistic profiles — about online dating?

X. Self-love is the normalization of narcissism.  That’s why it’s so dangerous, it’s like having a disease without realizing it.

 

 

Frequently Asked Questions #23

Future Plans

I hear you’re closing?
Yes, lease is up October 31st 2020.  We may stay until Thanksgiving.

Why won’t you renew?
Anchor 24 Hour Fitness is moving (they’re 25 percent of our business). We’re also paying 9k in rent per month for juice bar and dance studio.

Where is 24 Hour Fitness moving to and are you moving with them?
New mixed use development where Mountlake Terrace light rail stop will be.  Not moving with them because a)there’s no street parking, only underground parking; b)we won’t operate in what’ll be a construction site until the completion of new development and light rail in 2024.

Are you opening elsewhere?
We’re negotiating for a space in downtown Everett.  It’d be a restaurant (Pot Roast) and a juice bar that becomes part of restaurant during evening (eg. add rum to smoothie).

That’s so far!  Weren’t you trying to move a block away, adjacent to Juicy Power Yoga?
Yes, but we didn’t get the spot. Someone else was able to move in sooner than we could.

Why downtown Everett?
Landlords are mom and pop and I’m getting good vibes from that neighborhood — lots of art galleries and interesting businesses opening up. And rent is more reasonable.

I hear you may be moving to Arlington?
Got an offer to open a restaurant on a farm. We first need to see how much a commercial septic tank costs.

What’s going to happen to the dance studio?
One of the instructors is working on opening a new dance studio.  May not be in the neighborhood though, but close enough.

Why don’t you sell the juice bar to someone so the neighborhood will still have one?
When you go shopping for the juice bar, do you know how many avocados to buy and how ripe they should be?  Guess wrong, and you lose money. Guess wrong enough times, and you lose the business. Juice bars that use fresh ingredients are notoriously difficult to run because of spoilage. That’s why Jamba Juice mostly uses syrups, sherbets, and juice from concentrate.

Rumors

Is it true that owner writes school papers for employees? 
Who started that rumor?

Did owner tell customer to do something unspeakable with a cucumber?
Define “unspeakable.”

Is it true that there’s black wood fungus in the hot and sour soup?
Yes.

You ate this if you tried the hot and sour soup.

Did owner chase, with a sword, five people out of the store?
Yes

Did Roxanne G. murder Dummy Boy?
No, it was suicide and she had nothing to do with it.

Groceries

Where do you get your turmeric?
JD’s Market on 200th and 44th in Lynnwood.

Where do you get your coconuts?
Ranch 99, Edmonds

Where else do you shop?
Winco (Edmonds) and Grocery Outlet (Lynnwood); Costco; Country Farms produce stand (Edmonds).

Is Coronovirus affecting ginger prices?
Possibly.  The price recently doubled, looking into it.

How to Eat Like an Asshole (warning: photo of genitalia inside)

British etiquette expert William Hanson teaches people to eat like assholes.

This asshole eats with a chopstick up his ass.

Here’s an excerpt of him teaching etiquette on British TV show Let’s Do Lunch With Gino and Mel, Gino (who is Italian) as Hanson’s foil:

Asshole: No…this is how we eat peas.
Gino: First of all, the spoon is much easier because it goes in the spoon easily and you can shovel it in your mouth.
Asshole: No, we use a fork.  Like this.  Then we push the peas, with the back of our knife, onto the fork like this and eat it like this.  The tines of the fork should always be facing down. (Fork turned down).
Gino: So by the time you finish the peas, my steak will be cold, my mashed potatoes will be freezing cold, if we do it one by one the way you do it.

Gino has a point, Anglo dining etiquette is inefficient, it makes eating a lot more difficult than necessary. What’s the point of etiquette then?  From Wiki:

Etiquette is the set of conventional rules of personal behaviour in polite society, usually in the form of an ethical code that delineates the expected and accepted social behaviors that accord with the conventions and norms observed by a society, a social class, or a social group.

So the point of Anglo dining etiquette is to teach people to look down on those who prefer to not make dining out a tortuous experience. In other words, it teaches people to act like assholes, bullies really.  But it doesn’t have to be like that, here’s my counterpoint definition of etiquette:

Good etiquette: rules of conduct to maximize ease and efficiency and to keep costs down while benefiting the greater good.

Bad etiquette: rules of conduct that allows one to covertly spotlight one’s narcissistic needs (eg. recognition as world’s nicest and classiest person) at the expense of the greater good.

Which is the purpose of etiquette in most non-Anglo cultures, it’s a way to lubricate social interactions instead of complicating them.  How complicated?  Check this shit out.

How to Eat Soup Like an Asshole

 

Summary of steps:

  1. Position your body two hand widths away from the table
  2. Use correct spoon, the one with the largest bowl
  3. Spoon soup at and toward twelve o’clock side of bowl using the outer edge of spoon.  (Am I losing you)?
  4. Gently scrape off soup that’s on the bottom of the spoon along the twelve o’clock edge of the bowl.
  5. Bring edge of spoon that faces you to mouth without spilling or hunching over.
  6. Sip soup without making noise
  7. Repeat process, inserting a chopstick up the ass each time.

Got it?  Didn’t think so.  And that’s a good thing, only fucktards think it’s ok to serve and eat soup this way. To begin with, what’s with the shallow bowl and the plate it’s on?  Sure, it looks kinda pretty, but so does Paris Hilton’s pussy, doesn’t mean you should serve sushi on it.

Nyotaimori dinners are pretty to look at, ridiculous to serve.

And as Gino points out, how long is eating it this way going to take? What happens to the integrity of the soup if it takes someone 10 excrutiating minutes to finish it?  The good news is that there are a few American chefs who reject tormenting their customers that way by instead putting soup in a teacup from which they drink, no spoon involved.

It’s ok to stare at Paris Hilston’s STD ridden snatch that needs a shave. Bad idea to eat off of it.

How to Eat Miso Soup and Ramen Properly

Here’s how the Japanese eat miso soup: no spoon, chopsticks only. Some of you are like, WTF?  No, fuck you, you’re the weird one.

This is how miso soup is served in Japan.  NO SPOON! And never a stupid shallow bowl.

How to eat miso soup Japanese way:

  1. With one hand, bring bowl of soup to mouth.  Start drinking.
  2. Use chopsticks in other hand to pick out floating pieces of food.
  3. Repeat process

That’s it, it’s easy as fuck as long as you know how to use chopsticks.  But it feels unnatural to most Americans because they’ve been trained to think of drinking from a bowl as vulgar.  Well how the fuck so? Because some asshole said so?

Here’s a video on how to eat ramen, a dish Americans love but look awkward — like some fat guy trying ballet for the first time — while eating.

 

Summary:

  1. You can use chopsticks only or use chopsticks to put food on big spoon and eat from spoon.  (I prefer the latter method to prevent hunching, which is bad for you).
  2. You can slurp if you want.  (He does).
  3. “Ramen is an open format, you can eat it any way you want to.”
  4. “But one thing I want to emphasize is that you shouldn’t take too much time to eat this because the noodles will expand…it shouldn’t take more than five minutes for you to finish.”

This chef eats with chopsticks instead of shoving them up his ass. The only hard rule involves the integrity of the food: finish within five minutes or you’re ruining the food that someone worked hard on for you to enjoy.  How you finish your ramen is up to you, and that includes drinking from the bowl.

Contrast this approach to food to the asshole way of dining. Which is more fun, which makes food taste better? Which turns eating into a cumbersome social competition?  Do you prefer to enjoy your food, or would you prefer to show off your fake good breeding while eating?

How to Eat Soup

Sometimes I fuck with customers.  Let’s say I’m making ham soup and purposely cut the ham too big to fit on the spoon.  Then I watch, do they struggle through using a spoon, or do they switch to a fork to eat the ham and drink the broth from the cup, which is the sensible act to do?

So how should we eat soup without looking like assholes?  Serve and eat it in any way you want, not how others want you to eat. Which is going to be tough if you care about what others think of you.  (In which case you have serious problems). At any rate, that’s all there is to it, once you block out etiquette, your instincts will tell you how something should be eaten.

How to Eat Chinese Style (chopstick hack)

Southern Chinese food is typically served with a bowl of rice and an assortment of dishes. This creates an awkward situation for many gweilos (foreign devils), especially if they want the cultural experience of using chopsticks.  Here’s what you’re supposed to do: use one hand to bring bowl of rice off the table, use chopsticks to grab whatever you want to put on rice.  Bring bowl close to mouth, use chopsticks to put whatever you want into mouth.  So the space between grabbing something with chopstick to bringing it to mouth is shortened, making it less likely that you’ll drop what you grabbed and become frustrated.  If you want to get really Chinese, bring bowl to mouth and use chopstick to shovel food in your mouth.  Make as much noise as you want. It’s actually very easy, very natural to eat that way, far easier than using a knife and fork. It’s jarring to watch Americans switch knife and fork from one hand to another for the sake of propriety. (Stop switching)! Video showing you how it’s done below.

Pet peeve: Chinese restaurants that serve food on plate and then give you chopsticks to eat with.  That’s a mismatch of cultural habits. In this case, a knife and fork and spoon make more sense.  Chopsticks work best when the food is served Chinese style, not on plates, which in Chinese dining is only used as the place to hold food and discarded bones.

This foreign devil knows how to eat Chinese food. You can eat this way too!

Why We Eat Like Assholes

Because we’re fake as fuck.  An asshole is someone who makes up bizarre and arbitrary rules of conduct solely to exclude those who won’t play along. Play anthropologist and look around: you can probably make sense of why Ethiopians, Chinese, Japanese, Mexicans, Indians, Peruvians, Italians, Rednecks…eat as they do. And then you get to Anglo cultures and see some stuff that makes sense, and then a bunch of stuff that make no sense. Where assholes tell other assholes to do stupid shit, to act like piece of shits who make ugly shit, fucked up shit, crazy shit, worthless shit, and dodo shit that’s somehow perversely considered as elegant and charming by those who look like monkey shit. Where politeness is confused with civility, niceness with kindness, and eating with a chopstick up one’s ass with good breeding.

How White Anglo Saxon Pricks at Downton Abbey eat, with chopsticks up their asses.

Compare the above two “How to” videos again, pretend you’re an alien studying human behavior this time around.  Which culture do you find bizarre, the one with a bunch of precise rules that make it harder to eat, or the one that only has one hard rule — finish ramen within 5 minutes to ensure integrity of noodles — everything else is up to you?

Sane people don’t make life harder for themselves.  And did you know that the Japanese eat sushi with their hands?  Nom nom.

How to Eat with Instincts

It’s 1973, British couple Maurice and Maralyn Bailey survive 117 days on a rubber life raft in the Pacific.  They survived by eating all sorts of sea creatures raw, including turtles. What they craved most during the ordeal were fish eyes and they couldn’t figure out why because, like typical Brits, they’re grossed out by what Chinese people eat. After their rescue, they learned that fish eyes contain water and vitamin C, both of which they were in dire need of to survive.

If you were lost at sea, you’d eat those eyes.

Point of the story is that we’re able to eat with our instincts and intuition — our bodies *can* tell us when and what to eat instead of eating when and what we’re told to eat.   And when you’re in survival mode, these instincts override all cultural habits, including aversion to really nasty Chinese food.  You’ll eat what you need to eat to survive.

How to Eat With Instincts and Intuition

Instincts we’re born with, while intuition is developed based on experiences. Not saying intuition is always correct — it’s often wrong — but it can be honed and enhanced with enough introspection.

Keep in mind that we’re taught, especially in school, to not trust our instincts and to not develop our intuition. We’re told, for instance, to not trust our own eyes because our experiences are anecdotal and therefore mean jack shit.  And that only so-called experts can interpret the world for us.

Below are steps to reverse what we’ve been taught.

Step 1: Activate your instincts.  Do sports — yoga and dance count — to activate instincts. The stress and sense of immediacy from playing sports with high intensity takes you closer to survival mode so that you become more aware of your body signals.  Listen for the dialogue between what your body wants and what your mind craves. The body in survival mode wants nutrition and instinctively knows where to find it, while the disturbed mind seeks immediate comfort (eg pint of ice cream). You get sick when your mind isn’t aligned with what your body wants.

Step 2: Question every habit and idea you think is normal and natural.  Do one a week.  Examples:

  • Is sitting in chair healthier than squatting?
  • Is Western democracy the best form of government for all nations?
  • Should I drink orange juice when I have the flu?
  • Does school make people smarter or dumber?
  • Are polite people good people?
  • How often and when should I eat?

Give yourself a week to investigate the debates, it’ll be a mind opening experience.  The more you question your assumptions — cultural biases taught in school and by mainstream media — the more your instincts and intuition will kick in and tell you who is full of shit. Insanity is when those who are lactose intolerant (70 percent of world population) keep drinking cow milk just because the government says you need to to be healthy. Listen to your body, listen to the sound of diarrhea, not to so-called experts with bullshit degrees.

Are government nutritionists paid off by dairy lobby, or are they just Anglo-centric nitwits?

Step 3: Watch stand-up comedy.  Stand-up comedians are the most intuitive social critics around.  They say what we feel and think intuitively but are afraid to express for fear of offending.  In Anglo-centric cultures, where politeness is lauded as a virtue, stand-up comedians are one of the few with the courage to tell the truth. Hearing the truth about who you and other people are will help you develop your intuition, which is your ability to recognize patterns to make sense of experiences.  For instance, I’ve learned from experience to never trust overly polite people — they are vile, incompetent, and socially inept — even though I was taught that politeness is a sign of good breeding. A recent by study by the Association for Computational Linguistics supports my intuition. Sure, you’ll be called a racist and sexist and whatever else they come up with for challenging what you’ve been taught, but you’ll be a lot closer to and better prepared for the truth.

Stand-up comedian Russell Peters tells racist jokes.  Pay attention to his observations, and not to what dumbfuck Ethnic Studies professors have to say.

Put simply, stand up comedians remind you of what the world is, which protects you from falling in love with your version of how the world ought to be. Stand up comedy trains you to trust your guts — which tells you the truth — and never your heart, which only tells you what you want to hear.

That’s why you should watch Ronny Chieng. He reminds you of how insignificant you are, which is a lot closer to the truth than the snowflake bullshit you learn in school.

Step 4: Do as kids do, they’re cuter versions of stand-up comedians.  We’re taught it’s uncivilized to live instinctively and rude to develop our intuition.  Watch pre-kindergarten kids in Anglo nations, they instinctively squat to sit, as do most adults in the non-Western world.  They also eat instinctively: instead of using a spoon, they’ll bring a bowl of soup to their mouths, as do most adults in the non-Western world. They communicate instinctively, they’re blunt and ask lots of questions, are never euphemistic and don’t care if they offend. They don’t practice bizarre manners and habits until their instincts are beaten out of them, often at school.

According to anthropologists, this is the healthy and instinctive way to sit and eat, and this is how it’s done through most of the world. Yet most American adults can’t do this because they’ve been programmed to sit in chairs that ruin their backs and hamstrings instead.

I single out Anglo-nations for promoting this kind of civility that’s neither natural nor found in most cultures. The point of doing so is to emphasize that cultures are as malleable as they are enduring and how we live *isn’t* necessarily normal or natural, even if it feels that way to us. My aim here, at best, is to suggest that we don’t have to live this way. We can instead strive to live as God intended us to live before the Fall.

 

Roxanne G. Reviews Juicy Power Yoga

Roxanne G. reviews interesting neighborhood businesses. This yoga studio opened December 2018 and is a block away from the juice bar (across street from Cinebarre).

Link to Juicy Power Yoga

I was sad and angry because my Dummy Boy’s wee wee malfunctioned again because he’s been drinking and jerking off too much.  I don’t like that, I don’t like it when his wee wee malfunctions because it makes me feel like that time my ice cream fell off my cone and onto my shoe. Since I have a “growth mindset,” I decided to fix the problem by taking Dummy Boy to hot yoga classes after I read that they make wee wees function properly.  I like that.

Dummy Boy didn’t want to go because he thinks yoga is “gay.”  He changed his mind about going after I put on my new Lulumon yoga outfit which makes my butt and boobs look really good and told him he could call me by my sister’s name after class.  He liked that.  So we went to Juicy Power Yoga because a girlfriend told me that they have showers and foam instead of wood floors to protect our bones and joints. I like that, because without bones and joints, we’d be insects. I don’t like insects, I make Dummy Boy squash them.

We took a Hot Power Vinyasa class and while I had fun and got a balanced and challenging workout, Dummy Boy ended up on his back for the second half of the class because his dummy workouts don’t include deep stretching and endurance training. At first I felt bad for him — Dummy Boys are embarrassed when they get beaten by girls — but then I caught him ogling some of the beautiful butts in sexy poses and didn’t feel so bad anymore because he was having a good time. I like that, I like it when my Dummy Boy is having a good time even if he’s checking out other girls because that’s just the kind of girl I am, I’m not the jealous kind. I give my Dummy Boy “space.”

What I really really like is that when we got back to his place, Dummy Boy’s wee wee…worked again, better than ever!  Thanks Juicy Power Yoga for fixing Dummy Boy’s wee wee and making me the kind of girl I ought to be again. We’ll be back!

I like doing this. And Dummy Boy likes looking at this. I like that, we both like that.

 

Harvard Hates Asians (may be offensive to White liberals)

Asians have known this for awhile, and they call it the “Asian Tax.” Meaning Asians have to be more accomplished than peers from other racial groups to get into elite schools.

An Asian applicant with 1140 SAT has same chance of getting into a school as a Black applicant with score of 690, or a White applicant with score of 1000.

“Asian Tax” of 50 points off of your SAT score when applying to elite schools.

Asians noticed this “Asian Tax” sometime in the 1980s and in 1988, some of them asked the Department of Education to investigate Harvard’s admissions policies and practices. At that time, Harvard undergrad was 20% Asian. The findings from that investigation: Asians are at a disadvantage because fewer of them are applying as legacies and recruited athletes and they’re not well rounded enough.  Fair enough, most Asians accepted the conclusion and began to make adjustments. It’s 2019 and Asian enrollment has remained at around 20% since then, even though Harvard’s incoming class size has remained the same and:

  • Asian population in the US has doubled from 3 percent to 6 percent.
  • Asians are the only group whose test scores have risen since 1988. Since then, test scores for all other racial groups — especially for Blacks and Hispanics — have fallen.
  • Far more Asians applying today are legacies, and legacies get preferred treatment
  • Far more Asians applying today are recruited athletes, and athletes get preferred treatment

The 2018 Harvard admissions lawsuit shows that if Harvard were to admit students based solely on grades and test scores and extracurriculars, Asians would be 48% of the freshman class. If preferences for recruited athletes and legacies are given, it’d be 43%.

Harvard rates applicants on a scale of 1-6 — 1 being the highest — in the following categories:

  • Academic
  • Extracurricular
  • Athletic
  • Personal Traits (as determined by reading of Personal Statement, I assume)
  • Recommendation letters (2 teachers, counselor)
  • Alumni (interview) personal and Overall rating

Asian applicants score overall highest in Extracurriculars, Academic, Recommendation Letters, and Alumni Interview. They score overall the lowest on Personal Traits. Harvard consistently rated Asian applicants lower than others on traits like “humor, sensitivity, grit, leadership, integrity, helpfulness, courage, kindness and many other qualities” when determining the personal rating according to an analysis of more than 160,000 student records.

Asian applicants score the highest on Recommendation Letters (written by people who typically know the applicant for years) and Alumni Interview yet lowest on Personal Traits. Let that sink in. How is that possible? Blatant racial discrimination behind closed doors that’s later repackaged as liberal benevolence to the public — affirmative action for Blacks and Hispanics — is how.

Because I don’t think the rejected Asian applicant who has a perfect SAT score and is valedictorian and lettered in two sports and did a solo at Carnegie Hall at age 14 lacks “grit.” And it’s the Asians who have the “courage” to open businesses in the most dangerous neighborhoods in America, the sort of neighborhoods White liberals love to talk about helping but never visit.  Maybe the problem is that too many Asian applicants lack the “sensitivity” White liberals are looking for in an applicant — they don’t spend enough time talking about their good intentions while refusing responsibility for their fucked up results, choosing instead to blame others for the failure of their ideas and methods.

White liberals decided that these gooks — defending Koreatown during LA Riots because LAPD was too chickenshit to protect the neighborhood — lack the courage to deserve a spot at Harvard.

Difference Between a Liberal and a Conservative

The difference between a liberal and a conservative isn’t in their intentions — they both want to make the world a better place — it’s that liberals are in love with their intentions while conservatives only care about results. Put simply, liberals are covert narcissists prone to bouts of envy, they’re sentimentalists in love with the sound of their crying sessions about injustice and suffering. They post pretentious ignorant shit like this on Facebook:

Anyone who doesn’t care about Human Rights should UNFRIEND ME NOW.

because deep down, they love virtue signaling too much to figure out that much of the non-Western world hears “Human Rights” as a Westerner’s polite battle cry to take over the world and shove democracy (which, to the surprise of most Americans, most people in the world don’t want) and the US petro-dollar down everyone’s throats. To which the virtue signaler replies: “that’s not what I meant.” Some of us don’t care what you meant, we only care about what happens. Unintended consequences, anyone?

Here’s another difference between a conservative and a liberal: when a conservative doesn’t like you, he’ll point a shotgun at your face and tell you to get the fuck off his lawn. A liberal who doesn’t like you will invite you to her house and if you don’t want to go, she’ll insist and then try to turn you into the sort of person she likes. The conservative is an asshole while the liberal is a tyrant. (Combine the two and you get American imperialism).

Unintended Consequences: Affirmative Action’s Affect on Blacks and Hispanics

What would you think about yourself if you got into school with significantly lower scores and grades than average? Pick:

a) I’d feel like a fraud, undeserving of my place in school
b) I’d justify my place by emphasizing the wrongs done to my kind
c) I’d convince myself that those who score higher have terrible personalities while mine is much better than theirs

Option A – Imposter Syndrome – is the best option. The low self-esteem can drive one to work harder to catch up.

Option B is the play victim option. Waste life getting a PhD in Ethnic Studies or Sociology to make a living out of managing victim status.

Option C is the vanity option. A lifetime of narcissistic delusions. That would explain why Blacks have the highest self-esteem of any group, despite performing the worst in life.

Your kid needs surgery. What would think if you found out that your surgeon — only two years out of residency — got into medical school despite getting a “C” in O-chem and had below average MCAT scores? Would you find another doctor or would you tell yourself that test scores and grades don’t matter much, they’re racially biased anyway, and that this surgeon deserves a chance?

You take the toughest classes, graduate at the top of your class, have perfect scores, and contribute to school clubs. (This isn’t an exaggeration, many Asian students with such a profile are getting rejected from elite schools). You watch significantly less accomplished students in your class get into schools you’re rejected from. How do you feel? What are you thinking?

There are more unintended consequences, such as mismatches in student ability and school difficulty that results in significantly lower graduation rates for affirmative action admits and students settling for easier majors, bullshit majors really, in order to graduate.

The point is, study after study shows that this kind of racial discrimination — packaged as White liberal benevolence — hurts a lot of people, especially Blacks and Hispanics. The only ones it helps are White Liberals, and not just because it keeps out Asian students who’d push them closer to the bottom of the grading curve.

Intended Consequences: Personal Salvation for White Liberals

Affirmative action doesn’t take spots from White applicants. It takes them from Asian applicants, as evidenced by what happened when UC Berkeley got rid of affirmative action in 1998: Asian population shot up (35% to a high of 48%), but for Whites it stayed the same (and has since fallen from 32% to 22% today). The purpose of Affirmative Action isn’t to help Blacks and Hispanics — the mismatch hurts them lots — it’s to make White liberals look benevolent and to keep Asians out because White liberals hate Asians.

Sure, they love Asians who have become the sort of person they like — Champagne Socialists who hate Rednecks.

The person who wrote this yelp review is Asian, June Chu, former Dean of Pierson College at Yale University. White liberals love her because she hates the same people they hate and supports liberal policies such as Affirmative Action.

But they hate that the mere existence of Asians proves White liberal theories about how the world works and how to make it a better place wrong. Asians prove that you don’t need feminism for women to have rewarding careers in fields such as medicine and engineering and business. Asians prove that test scores have less to do with class and more to do with culture. Asians prove that being poor doesn’t make people obese. Asians show that low self-esteem, not high self-esteem, is correlated with high achievement. Asians prove that being a minority in America isn’t crippling. Again, liberals care more about their intentions than results, which means they never blame themselves when their ideas lead to disaster. Instead of adapting their ideas to how people are, they force other people to adapt to their ideas — that’s tyranny, that’s how totalitarianism begins, by telling people what to feel and think. And that’s what left-wing nut case Chairman Mao did when his social and economic programs — including a radical affirmative action program — ruined China, he doubled down and blamed “reactionaries” for the disaster and sent them to re-education camps, where many died.

This Chinaman is a White Liberal. He ruined China. By the time he died, 90 percent of Chinese people lived in poverty.

And doubling down is precisely what White liberals of all races are doing today. When they hear that affirmative action makes people question the intellectual qualifications of ALL Blacks and Hispanics, they call those doing the questioning racists. When they hear that affirmative action induces panic and self-doubt in Blacks and Hispanics, they blame microaggressions and the lack of safe spaces. When they hear that Asians are pissed about the unfairness, they tell them — get this — that Asians owe their success to the civil rights work of Blacks and Hispanics and should therefore step aside. To the White liberal, anyone who doesn’t sing along with the liberal narrative is a deplorable reactionary and must be ostracized, just like in Maoist China.

A pragmatist, Deng Xiaoping, replaced White liberal Chairman Mao. Today, China’s poverty rate is 4% because its leaders only care about results, and not about people’s egos.

I’m not saying that White liberals don’t want to help Blacks and Hispanics. They do but what they don’t realize is that their first priority is to help themselves vis-a-vis “helping” Blacks and Hispanics and whomever else is victim of the day. What they seek through their efforts is personal salvation to alleviate their anxiety and guilt about being White, and that salvation comes from a Black person telling them that they are in fact good people fighting the good fight. That explains why White liberals can continuously and fantastically ignore bad results and blame others for the failure of their ideas and methods. White liberals don’t care that affirmative action makes life worse for most Blacks and Hispanics and introduces a new source of racial tension. They only care that most Blacks support affirmative action. That support, not good results, is what makes the White liberal feel good, similar to a mother who feels good as she watches her children enjoy candy that’s bad for them. It’s sick and twisted.

Are Asians the new Jews?

Look to the past to understand the present — people and institutions don’t change much. When the Jewish population at Harvard went from 7% in 1900 to 25% in 1925, then Harvard president Abbott Lawrence Lowell was alarmed about the cultural damage they might do to Harvard and pushed to cap Jewish enrollment at 15%. Since White Anglo Saxon Pricks (WASP) are a polite bunch, they had to repackage this effort to impose racial quotas as something benign. So they introduced preference for legacies — most legacies were WASPs — and sold it as a way to increase donations from alums and to enhance networking. They also began to evaluate the character of applicants, ostensibly to ensure that only students of high moral character attend Harvard when it fact, they now admit, it was to handicap Jewish applicants. Sounds like the same shit they’re doing to Asian applicants today except now they admit to having kept Jews, but not Asians out.

Look to the past to understand the present.  Not much has changed.

Harvard is a private institution, they can do whatever the fuck they want, just as I can eject from my business any customer I want. What some Asians are looking for from Harvard and other schools isn’t an end to racial quotas — White liberals and anyone else can be as racist as they want, I couldn’t care less —  but an admission that they’re used to keep Asians out. People just want to know where they stand so they can make adjustments and manage expectations. And I’ll take the conservative who tells me to get the fuck off his lawn while pointing a gun at me over the liberal who drags me inside her house and then tries to turn me into someone she likes. I don’t need to be brainwashed, I just need to know if I’m welcomed. Now get the fuck off my lawn.

Frequently Asked Questions #22

General

Is presidential candidate Andrew Yang really going to be hosting a Q and A at Alive Juice Bar on Halloween, as advertised on Facebook? 
What do you think?

Does the owner know he looks and acts like Andrew Yang?
Yes.

Is he endorsing him? 
No.  But he likes that Yang is an accelerationist candidate and supports providing a basic income to as many as possible.

What does “accelerationist” mean?
Someone who wants to accelerate technological change to achieve positive social changes.  We’re close to having the technology to provide universal healthcare at a low low cost; eliminate hunger; significantly reduce all sorts of fatalities. The barriers to these changes are political and social. A lot of people, for instance, don’t want to give up their jobs to robots. Yang’s proposal may make it easier for people to accept the acceleration of change that’ll be painful at first but hopefully beneficial to society.

Have you read his book “The War on Normal People?”
Yes, and we sell it.  $15, tax included.

What do you think about it?
It’s worth reading if you’re interested in how automation *might* affect society, how we arrived to our present situation, and how we can broker a deal between globalists and nationalists.  Note that I didn’t say that it’s a great book, it’s just worth reading.

Is the owner Andrew Yang’s evil doppelganger?

Heath and Nutrition
How many meals a day should I eat?
It’s up to you.  Listen to your body. Some do well with one meal a day, others with six, mix it up as needed.

How soon should I eat after I get up?
Up to you, listen to your body.  I wait until after morning workout to eat, so around three hours after waking up.

How do I listen to my body?
That’s the conundrum.   Most schooling has taught us to not trust our instincts and to not develop our intuition.  It’s not easy to unlearn the bad habits taught in school, they’ve become normal and natural.

Do sports.  Sports — this includes yoga, pilates, dance — activates instincts and gets you in touch with your body.  Then listen for the dialogue between what your body wants and what your mind has been taught to think.  Next, question every habit and idea that you think is normal and natural.  Below are examples:

  • Is sitting in chair healthier than squatting?
  • Is Western democracy the best form of government for all nations?
  • Should I drink orange juice when I have the flu?
  • Does school make people smarter or dumber?
  • Are polite people good people?

Investigate the debates, it’ll be a mind opening experience.  The more you question your assumptions, the more your instincts will kick in and tell you who is full of shit.

Finally, watch stand-up comedy.  Stand-up comedians are the most intuitive social critics around.  They say what we feel and think intuitively but are afraid to express for fear of offending.  We’ll expand on this in another post.

Russell Peters is one of the most successful stand-up comedians in the world. He says Indians are the cheapest people in the world, Chinese the second cheapest, and Jews the third. You know he’s right. He’s so right, he makes $10 million a year, while the dumbfuck Ethnic Studies professor makes $50 thousand a year.

Health and Exercise
What’s the big deal about exercise?
Exercise doesn’t reduce stress, it makes you inured to it.  Exercise is the act of putting yourself in a stressful environment so that you’ll be better adapted to handle similar situations in your everyday life.  The more stressful the exercise, the better adapted you’ll be to handle stressful events at work and at home.  Exercise also works like chemotherapy: you break down the body and mind so that it can repair itself and become even stronger.  

Why does owner push yoga?
It’s the most efficient, balanced, and complete workout he’s ever experienced, and he’s been working out nearly his entire life, at the competitive sports level and with personal and boxing trainers.

Most workouts aren’t balanced — some neglect stretching and core work, others overemphasize strength training or cardio, and sports training usually focuses on skills.  A power vinyasa class, on the other hand, is where stretching, cardio, core work, strength training, and skills like balance and inversions, are equally and fully treated in one hour.  This efficiency is possible because many Vinyasa poses and flows combine, for instance, elements of strength and endurance training, core work, balance skills, and stretching.  Finally, yoga  is easier on the joints, especially when done on a foam floor.  Make it a hot class if you want to make it more stressful, challenging, and rewarding.

So a walk around Greenlake doesn’t count as exercise?
It does if you’re in terrible shape.  If you’re not breaking a sweat and feeling out of your comfort zone, then it’s not exercise.

Do You Have Feelings About Feelings?

If you do, then you’re batshit crazy. I’ll explain.

How American Culture Makes  People Batshit Crazy
The most disturbing aspect — the source of all these mental and dietary health problems in the US — about American culture (Anglo culture, really) is that it trains people to have feelings about feelings.  Like Chelsea getting mad at herself for being mad at her boyfriend because his wee wee malfunctioned at the wrong time; Jessica feeling guilty about being happy after she beats her bestie to win State.  Robbie getting depressed because he’s not who he thought he was now that he’s harboring racist thoughts after getting carjacked twice in two months by Black dudes; Susan afraid about becoming anxious during her solo.

What happens above is learned — vis-a-vis American moral education — and it’s not natural or healthy to behave like that. Real, raw, instinctive emotions are already tough enough to deal with, adding a layer of manufactured ones is bound to drive people nuts not just because there are more emotions to deal with, but because now there are conflicting emotions that make people’s internal compass — ie. instincts —  go haywire. Without instincts, people are as good as dead.

Below are some emotions Americans are taught to avoid feeling

  • Anger
  • Hate
  • Fear
  • Sadness
  • Anxiety

because they’re “negative.”  Okay, how so?  Dylan Thomas didn’t think anger a negative emotion when he wrote to his dying father:

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Or how about Jesus Christ, who goes ape shit on those who fuck with his shit? From the book of Matthew 21:12-13:

12 And Jesus entered the temple[a] and drove out all who sold and bought in the temple, and he overturned the tables of the money-changers and the seats of those who sold pigeons. 13 He said to them, “It is written, ‘My house shall be called a house of prayer,’ but you make it a den of robbers.”

 

Don’t piss off Jesus.  Or he’ll go ape shit on you.

What about fear? Courage isn’t the absence of fear, it’s the ability to move forward despite fear. If there’s no fear, there’s no courage and courage is one of those acts that make life worth living. Beginning to see how those who run away from so called negative emotions are spiritually dead? It’s the combination of anger and fear that makes courage possible. Passion is the combination of anger and love.  Fear and anxiety (or as Kierkegaard puts it, “Fear and Trembling”) makes faith. Now imagine life without courage, passion, and faith. Is it worth living?

Yet the curators of American culture insist that courage is possible only when there’s no fear, serenity if there’s no anger, success if there’s no anxiety, love if there’s no hate, happiness if there’s no sadness, pleasure if there’s no pain. As with all attempts to create Heaven on Earth, the unintended consequences have been disastrous: more emotional eating, more drug addiction, more mental health problems.

How People are Trained to Have Feelings About Feelings, (how to become emotionally corrupt)
Again, it’s not natural to have feelings about feelings (aka meta-feelings). Real emotions are instinctual and their purpose is to protect the feeler of them: fear when you unexpectedly encounter a lion in the wild; sadness when your beloved child dies; anger when cheated by a trusted friend; happy when your team wins.  Fake emotions, on the other hand — and this includes sentimentality, that “failure of feeling” and “mask of cruelty” — are taught. Here’s how:

Parent says: Don’t be mad at me!
Kid hears: It’s wrong to be angry

Teacher says: Don’t be sad!
Kid hears: There’s something wrong with feeling sad.

Coach says: Don’t be nervous!
Kid hears: There’s something wrong with feeling anxious

Commercial says: Don’t be scared!
Kid hears: There’s something wrong with feeling scared.

Customer says: You need to smile more if you want a tip (some cunt actually said this at another juice bar)
Employee hears: I need to be happy all the time for people to like me

Stranger says: I’m fine, how are you?
You hear: Everyone is always happy, why not me?

How do you think those bombarded with these asinine messages and exhortations are going to turn out? Erika the waitress is going to get stoned every day before work so she looks happy, dopey, and smiley for the pleasure of her emotionally corrupt customers who think going to a restaurant should be the same experience as going to Disneyland. Jane, who once practiced and practiced to become a concert pianist now needs anxiety meds to make it to school, much less to Carnegie Hall. Adam becomes a heroin addict because he lacks the anger to produce the natural pain-killers that’d get him through work drug free. Emily is on depression meds and when she’s not she binges on carbs because that’s what happens when you’re scared of being sad.

Bloody British Cunts    (aka BBC)

In 2017, the BBC ran a health story titled “Anger and hatred can make us feel happy, study says.”  This cross-cultural study “included some 2,300 university students from the United States, Brazil, China, Germany, Ghana, Israel, Poland and Singapore.” One conclusion:

People are happier if they are able to feel emotions they desire – even if those emotions are unpleasant, such as anger and hatred.”

Specific emotions don’t make people happy. It’s the ability to feel what one wants to feel that makes one happy. Put differently elsewhere in the article:

The researchers found that while people overall wanted to experience more pleasant emotions, they had the greatest life satisfaction if the emotions they experienced matched those they desired.

Another conclusion, that Westerners are unhappy because they’re hedonistic:

People want to feel very good all the time in Western cultures. Even if they feel good most of the time, they may still think that they should feel even better, which might make them less happy overall.

Since the BBC is run by a bunch of Bloody British Cunts, this article is biased as fuck: it assigns Anglo-centric moral value to specific emotions.  Anger and hate, for instance, are described as “unpleasant” and “negative” emotions. Except they’re not but by cultural decree. Which emotion do professional athletes use most often to stay focused and to play through pain: happiness or anger? Anger, of course, because that’s the emotion that releases natural pain killers in our bodies and improves focus and strength. I may be despicable and an angry motherfucker, but there isn’t one customer who’d describe me as lacking in motivation and vigor precisely because I allow myself to access the full spectrum of emotions — without judgment — and anyone who tells me how I ought to feel can kiss my ass.

Grandpa Hates Japs

My Chinese aunt once paid a compliment to the Japanese.  Since her father  (my grandfather) was present, she prefaced it with:

I hate the Japanese as much as anyone, but I have to admire how they’ve…

The preface makes clear that there’s no taboo among the Chinese against hating an ethnic group. In this case, this show of (manufactured) hate is used positively, as a show of respect for an elder’s experiences and perspective. Nobody in the family calls grandpa a racist for hating the Japanese, nobody tries to change his mind. I mean, why shouldn’t he hate the Japanese — he grew up watching them rape and pillage half his fucking country. Not saying forgiveness  isn’t a better option, but that’s for him to decide, not anyone else, because none of us understand what he experienced so it’s best to leave him be. He’ll stop hating once he’s ready to do so, not when other people tell him to do so.

Photos of beheaded civilians from Rape of Nanking. How soon would you hate and how long would it take you to forgive?

Stand-Up Comedy Doesn’t Exist in China (and what that has to do with the cost of therapy)
Nor in Russia, Germany, France, most of the world actually. Stand-up comedy is a uniquely Anglo invention, started and gained popularity in the UK during the emotionally repressive and imperialistically expansive Victorian Era (1837-1901). Historian Harold Perkins writes about the transformation of manners during the time leading into the Victorian Era:

Between 1780 and 1850 the English ceased to be one of the most aggressive, brutal, rowdy, outspoken, riotous, cruel and bloodthirsty nations in the world and became one of the most inhibited, polite, orderly, tender-minded, prudish and hypocritical.

In other words, Anglos went from being assholes to being politically correct, self-righteous, emotionally timid, phlegmatic assholes. Why did this transformation of manners happen? Let’s see what was happening geopolitically. During the 19th century, the British Empire added

…around 10,000,000 square miles (26,000,000 km2) of territory and roughly 400 million people were added to the British Empire. Unchallenged at sea, Britain adopted the role of global policeman…Alongside the formal control it exerted over its own colonies, Britain’s dominant position in world trade meant that it effectively controlled the economies of many countries, such as China, Argentina, and Siam, which has been described by some historians as an Informal Empire. (wiki entry on British Empire).

Here are a few details about what the British were up to:

  • 1789 To annihilate Australian aboriginals, British military brought bottles of smallpox to infect them. Ninety percent of aboriginal population died within 15 months.
  • 1806 Abandonment of Spanish POWs on barren island on the Rio de la Plata river during Napoleonic Wars to starve to death.
  • 1842 To reverse trade imbalance, Britain forces China to legalize and buy its opium, leading to an opioid epidemic that nearly destroys China.
  • 1845-1849  British policies lead to Great Potato Famine in Ireland, resulting in one million dead and another million emigrating to escape starvation because throughout the famine, the British continued to export out of Ireland agricultural products, such as wheat and beef, the English wanted.
  • 1857 The aftermath of the Indian Rebellion (1857–58), when convicted mutineers were tied in front of cannons and blasted, or sewn into pig or cow skins after death (for Muslims and Hindus respectively).
  • 1899-1902 The roundup of Boer civilians (mostly women and children) into the world’s first modern “concentration camps” during the Second Boer War

Is it an accident that the rapid rise of Britain to world dominance coincides with the sudden transformation of Anglo manners? I doubt it. To begin with, what do the British need to do to convince their subjects that they deserve to be ruled by the British? What do the British need to do to convince the themselves that it’s their divine “burden” to rule over their colonial and neo-colonial subjects and to treat them the way they do?

Bloody British Cunts who think they’re civilized even though they eat with chopsticks up their asses.

Answer: Everyone needed to be convinced that the  British are more civilized, that is, more removed from the state of nature than are their subjects.  And that begins with the repression of emotions and sticking a chopstick up one’s ass while one eats. After all, only animals and children act on instinct, while humans act on reason only, right? Rudyard Kipling writes about the imperialist mindset, from the satirical “White Man’s Burden,” 1899:

Take up the White Man’s burden
Send for the best ye breed
Go bind your sons to exile
To serve your captives’ need;
To wait in heavy harness,
On fluttered folk and wild
Your new-caught sullen peoples,
Half-devil and half-child

British colonized these people because they squat instead of sit in chairs and eat with chopsticks instead of sticking them up their asses. Now we know that squatting is healthier than sitting. Would you prefer to be “civilized” or healthy?

Anglo politeness, especially in the US, have become like religious prayers, entreaties for forgiveness for the forgotten and denied sins of a nation and its individual citizens.  Americans will, for instance, incessantly and inappropriately say “please” and “thank you,” as if chanting a mantra to showcase their good breeding and virtuous intentions, when in fact, these gratuitous mutterings are meant to mask their bigotry, hypocrisy, and cruelty. The more vile and socially inept they are, the more polite they are.

Which brings us back to the question: “Why is stand-up comedy a uniquely Anglo form of entertainment, most popular in English speaking nations?” It doesn’t exist in China or Russia or Germany, even though other forms of American and British entertainment — hip hop for instance  — are popular in these nations.

Because there’s no need for stand up comedy in places where political correctness doesn’t exist and emotional repression isn’t normal. The reason why stand-up comedy is so popular in the US is because since the end of the World War II, the US has taken over the role of the world’s police and asshole and now we have to convince ourselves and everyone else that we deserve that role. So we stop saying what’s on our mind and feel what we want to feel in order to convince ourselves that we’re somehow superior to those backward ass bigots even though we’re as bigoted and hypocritical as the British at their worst. Since it’s not natural and healthy to behave this way, we watch stand-up comedy to let out our repressed selves in a way that won’t desecrate our carefully curated public identities — successful stand up comedians say what everyone is thinking but are afraid to say.  Stand-up comedians are the modern court jesters of American middle-class society.

Ask a German, “How are you?” and he’ll respond truthfully. Ask a Russian “How are you?” and he’ll tell you it’s none of your business.  Ask a Chinese person that question and she’ll ignore you.  The people from the aforementioned don’t serve customers with a smile plastered on their faces and they never, ever smile while walking down the street unless they have an instinctive reason to do so because anyone who smiles like that must either be a fraud or an idiot. They navigate with their instincts, not with what they’re told is proper, polite and pleasant.

Life Doesn’t Have to Be This Way
Instead of telling ourselves and each other to not be sad, or angry, or anxious…we could ask each other why we’re sad, angry, or anxious, whatever it may be we’re feeling. And let each other know that it’s normal and expected to be anxious before performing solo, and nervous while performing it; to be angry when cheated; sad when your team loses; ashamed when you let someone down.

Instead of judging, let’s ask questions. Exploring why we are who we are instead of hiding who we are may be the first step toward recovery from an addiction to overthinking that’s ruining us.

Redneck Food is Healthier Than Stupid Middle-Class American Food.

Redneck cuisine is better for the environment too.  I’ll prove it.

Take roadkill cuisine, which according to Wiki is “considered unglamorous and mocked in pop culture, where it is often associated with stereotypes of rednecks and uncouth persons.”  Below are some of the advantages of roadkill meat:

  • low cost
  • organic meat that’s naturally high in vitamins and proteins with lean meat and little saturated fat
  • organic meat that’s free of antibiotics and other drugs
  • organic meat that doesn’t come from animals who lived in filthy overcrowded cages and pens

Meaning those deplorable roadkill scavengers are eating food that’s healthier and more environmentally friendly than the over-priced, over-modified, over-hyped and environmentally destructive bullshit people buy at Whole Foods. More examples of how Redneck food is superior later.  Let’s first take a look at what middle-class America thinks everyone should eat.

Why Middle Class America eats “BAD” food

Because the American middle-class doesn’t define itself in terms of economic clout and technological sophistication.  This demographic instead defines itself *against* another group, usually Rednecks (and otherwise the One Percent). And that’s precisely why the American middle-class — the most medicated demographic in the world — can’t think straight as consumers and make ridiculous demands to indulge their delusions about themselves. In this batshit crazy world, decisions are based less on practical considerations and more on identity politics. That’s why middle-class Americans have a habit of wanting to eat “BAD” food, as Paul Fussell puts it:

…in fruits and vegetables, “pretty” has overtaken actual, honest, and safe in the Basic American Diet.  What he’s getting at is the scandal of cosmeticizing produce to make it attractive to the ignorant — coloring oranges orange, for instance, or breeding apples and cherries and strawberries so impressively large that they’re quite tasteless. Now, in violation of all natural laws, apples are spotchless, wormless, and lustrously red or green.  Grapefruits are perfectly round, as firm as baseballs and as yellow as forsythia, and these phony appearances — BAD in a nutshell — are produced by an infinite number of exotic and untested constituents, residing in the chemicals used to bring on these freaks of visual vegetable perfection.

 

Middle America isn’t satisfied with botoxing and medicating just themselves, they have to botox and medicate their fruits and vegetables too because pompous people need pompous things, including pompous inbred food that look like this.

 

Middle-class Americans like their produce the way they like their people – everything should look the same.

 

instead of fruit and vegetables that may look like this:

and is superior in taste and nutrition to their uniformly “pretty” counterparts.  American middle class buy with their eyes instead of their minds, as if shopping for a street whore.

If this bizarre consumer demand for cosmetic uniformity of produce is a reflection of Middle-Class America’s intolerance for diversity of thought and personality, then what might the absence of fish and fowl heads on their dinner tables suggest about their psychological state?  Fussell again:

This manifestation of BAD does accord with American disinclination to accept unpleasant facts, like the cruel fact that oranges are really greenish-yellow and often ovoid, and the wormless apple is really an anomaly that, without dye and polish, will look pretty shabby.

There’s no demographic in history that’s this uncomfortable with being uncomfortable. And not just uncomfortable with racy and racist jokes and reminders that what they’re eating was once alive, these kooky conformists expect eating to be as easy as sucking on mommy’s tits back when they were babies. That’s why we have chicken nuggets, because they’re boneless and already cut up. That’s why there are no fish bones, ever.  The American middle-class eat like three year olds, which would be fine if they’d shut up and stop projecting their mommy and daddy issues onto those who just want to be left alone.

 

How fish is served in most parts of the world: head and fins on, bones inside. Fish bones, brains, cartilage and fat are nutritious, containing extra-high levels of vitamin A, omega-3 fatty acids, iron, zinc and calcium.

 

Travel around the world and you’ll see that people aren’t this squeamish and pampered when it comes to eating (except among the middle class in Anglo nations such as Canada and UK). This isn’t normal, it’s not healthy or tasty to eat this way (bones enhance flavor and provide essential nutrients) and it’s wasteful to discard edible food.

Roast duck is sold with head and penis on at Chinese butcheries. Notice the unusually large penis on third duck from right.

 

How Rednecks roast an entire pig, head, penis, and hoofs still on. Recycling old bicycle because Rednecks are innovative and care about the environment.

 

Examples of “BAD” food

The merely bad, Fussell points out, is “something like dog-do on the sidewalk, or a failing grade.” “BAD” taste, on the other hand, is anything “phony, clumsy, witless, untalented, vacant, or boring that many Americans can be persuaded is genuine, graceful, bright, or fascinating.” Here are more examples from past and present of BAD food middling America has and does enjoy because they think it’s healthier and/or tastier and/or more ethical when it’s not:

  • Skinless chicken breast (pay more for less!)
  • Extra lean ground beef (pay more for less!)
  • Kobe beef burgers (asshole burger, pay more for fat that will be cooked off)
  • Margarine (Frankenbutter)
  • White bread (Frankenbread)
  • Acai bowls (want to buy one so I can throw it at someone)
  • Fortune cookies (over a billion Chinese have asked: “who comes up with this shit?”)
  • Processed cheese (Frankencheese)

You can be sure that once middle-class America figures out that what they’re eating is actually BAD — like with margarine and white bread — cultural amnesia will set in and they’ll accuse Rednecks of perpetrating BAD culture.

Author is a Redneck Dyke. She says that middle-class Americans, not Rednecks, were the homophobes. Now that it’s not fashionable to be homophobic, middle-class America blames Rednecks for perpetrating homophobia when all they want is to not be told what to say and think.

Examples of Redneck food that’s good for you

  • Pig’s trotters (collagen good for skin and joint health)
  • Oxtail soup (best bone cut for broth that promotes joint health. Now upscale food)
  • Livermush (pig’s head and liver molded into pate, a variation of which I recently had at a high end restaurant)
  • Chitterlings (pig intestine contains lots of selenium which reduces risk of heart disease and asthma)
  • Squirrel (we’re overrun with gray squirrels.  Tastes sweet and nutty).

After bobbing for pig’s feet competition, this Redneck shows us how he eats his pig feet. Which is similar to how a Mexican eats pig feet.

Aside from the squirrel, the above is what people from most parts of the world eat. If what one eats is a reflection of one’s values and character, who do you think is more tolerant and open minded and responsible, the Redneck or the middle class American?  Who demands total conformity of manners and taste? Who lacks conviction and lives according to the latest fashion and fads? Who lives in an over-sanitized world maintained by intolerance and fear?  Who is the ignorant, uncouth fucktard now?