Frequently Asked Questions XV

General

Is it really true that you lock employees in freezer?
Define “lock” and “freezer.”

Dude, where did you get that black eye?
Back alley, behind the store.

Were you attacked by Social Justice Warriors who saw your job ad? (someone really asked this)
No.

Did you read Milo’s book Dangerous?  
Yes.

Is it as offensive as they say it is? 
As offensive as Eminem, Socrates, Nietzsche, Dr. Dre, Quentin Tarantino, Leonard Cohen, Georges Bataille, and a few parts of the Bible.  Less offensive than middle-class architecture and manners.

He was so offensive, they sentenced him to death.

 

Etiquette
Should my children go to etiquette school?
No.

How will they learn good manners?
They won’t at etiquette school. They’ll learn middle-class manners.

What’s wrong with middle-class manners?
Nothing if you don’t mind having a meal with a chopstick up your ass.

What are good manners?
Good manners isn’t a matter of following a set of procedures because appropriate conduct changes culture to culture, household to household: it depends on situation.  Well mannered people are observant, adaptable, and practical, thus able to be at ease in any cultural environment.  Etiquette school is a product of English colonialism and its purpose is to teach the middle-class to look down on those who don’t follow a set of procedures, even when the procedures don’t make sense.

Example?
To justify English colonialisn, a bunch of White Anglo Saxon Pricks taught that civilized people sit in chairs, while uncivilized (and deserving to be colonized) people squat.  Now we know that squatting is healthier than sitting in a chair.  Would you rather be “civilized” or healthy?

English decided to colonize these people because they have bad manners. Like squatting while eating and slurping their noodles.  They also eat with chopsticks instead of shoving them up their asses.

Sugar Tax

What do you think about the recently passed sugar tax?
It’s another one of those condescending taxes meant to humiliate the poor while making liberals feel good about themselves.

What do you think of the new job and education programs the tax will fund?
When you treat people like children they become children.  These programs, like most government programs, will be useless and impossible to get rid of once entrenched in the bureaucracy.

Doesn’t the tax help your business?
No and it creates a dangerous precedent. The debates about which drinks qualify are sure to get nastier and more confusing.

 

These people think they’re refined and sophisticated. Even though every one of them has a chopstick up their ass.

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