College Makes People Fat and Stupid

You’ve already heard about the Freshman 15, when no amount of college dorm sex burns enough calories gained from 4-7 days of binge drinking per week.  So let’s move on to how college makes people stupid.  Question:

Why do people want so badly a college degree?

a) They want to be smarter
b) They’re scared of not appearing at least middle-class
c) They want lots of sex and booze and drugs

There’s some truth to all of the above options but when you dig deep into people’s choices about anything, it’s nearly always fear, fear and fear that drives people’s actions.  The correct answer is B.  I’ll prove it.

frat

This college Freshman won’t be this skinny by the time he flunks out.

College is an Insane Car Dealership

Your kid wants a car so it’ll be easier for him to get a job.  Makes sense.  You’re nice and stupid so you give him 250k and tell him to pick a dealer and buy one. Any dealer, any car.   So he goes to the dealer with the hottest receptionists and all you can drink soda and all the cars in the lot cost 250k.  All sorts of cars: a new Ferrari; 2014 Toyota truck with 30k on it; 1986 Yugo; a dead 1970 Vanagon with a homeless person living in it.  Insane, right?  Well that’s what’s happening when someone sends their kid to college, except the Toyota truck is an Electrical Engineering degree while the Yugo is a Fine Arts degree and the broken down Vanagon is a Social Justice degree (that’s a real major at some schools!). And the only way to explain this insanity is that people will accept insanity when they’re scared to death.

“But college graduates earn more than those without college degrees.”  

They would’ve earned even more if they hadn’t gone to college.  Right, Bill Gates?  Yeah, Steve Jobs?  And that’s why Peter Thiel is paying $100000 to the best students to *drop-out* of schools like MIT.  College doesn’t make anyone smarter and more employable. Only you can make yourself smarter and more employable.  Khan Academy is on Youtube if you need a free tutor.

Value of College Education.

Question: What should Jamie major in if she wants to be a journalist?
a) Physics
b) Communications
c) Journalism

Answer is “A” because there’s high demand for journalists who can write about science.  If you got this question wrong then you’re not ready for college.  You’re going to pick the Yugo simply because it’s an automatic and you can’t drive stick (math), so no Toyota truck (most sensible option) or Ferrari for you.

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College is a social and intellectual filtering system, and an ineffective one at that.  Most degrees from most schools can’t even ensure that its recipient can do basic arithmetic and isn’t a psychopath.  A college degree is as good a filter as Catholic schools are at ensuring your daughter remains a virgin till married and son doesn’t become gay.  But employers don’t give a shit that colleges suck at what they do because they’re not the ones paying for an overpriced filtering system. It’s the batshit crazy and the government who pay for things that don’t work.

And the best companies  — from Microsoft to Amazon to McDonald’s to Apple — know college is a broken filtering system so they avoid using it to select applicants.

Another question:

What did Peter Jennings major in college?
a) Journalism
b) Communications
c) He dropped out before deciding on a major because he thought that college is stupid.

Correct answer is C.

When Robert Maynard Hutchins was president of the University of Chicago, he said this about education:

“The object of the educational system, taken as a whole, is not to produce hands for industry or to teach the young how to make a living. It is to produce responsible citizens…and promote the intellectual development of the people.”

College isn’t supposed to make you employable.  It’s supposed to be more of a monastic experience, a “life of the mind” that the University of Chicago is known for.  From Wiki, on Hutchins’s observations on higher education:

Hutchins also explores some of the improper directions educational institutions have taken in the United States. He argues that education is becoming nothing more than a trade school, and a poor trade school at that. As an example, Hutchins discusses the relationship between a foundry and the local college in a particular town in California. This college offers courses on doing foundry work, which instruct students to become workers at the foundry. In this way, the college is satisfying the need of the community for foundry workers rather than the intellectual needs of the individual. Further, Hutchins asserts that the foundry students actually receive poor training since educators do not have the practical experience of working in the foundry. Hutchins believes the students would receive a much more efficient and thorough education on working in a foundry by actually working in that foundry.

It’s the occupation’s responsibility, not the school’s, to train employees because schools suck at training workers. Yet we have politicians who want to help businesses by offering free tuition to all students (so they can take classes that’ll make them dumber and unemployable).  This isn’t a new development, Hutchins was writing in the early 1950s, and colleges were already fucking students up in their own fucked up way.

Hutchins also warns that education has shifted its focus from being educational to custodial. He charges that many schools have become no more than baby-sitting services for adolescents, protecting them from the tumultuous world of youth.

Like today’s “safe spaces.” Again, he’s writing in the early 1950s so stop saying the whining started with Millennials.  Millennials didn’t learn their habits from technology, they learned it from their parents, who learned from their parents, and so forth.  Most colleges are just reinforcing what students learn from their parents.

Even an undergrad degree from Harvard doesn’t make one employable at a socially acceptable job. Rage Against the Machine guitarist Tom Morello graduated from Harvard with a BA in Social Studies, also known as Left-Wing Studies.  Since few wanted to hire someone with his mindset and attitude, he made a living with his giant penis.

“When I graduated from Harvard and moved to Hollywood, I was unemployable. I was literally starving, so I had to work menial labor and, at one point, I even worked as an exotic dancer. ‘Brick House’ (by The Commodores) was my jam! I did bachelorette parties and I’d go down to my boxer shorts. Would I go further? All I can say is thank God it was in the time before YouTube! You could make decent money doing that job – people do what they have to do.”[9]

Stripping is a great job actually, just not one expects from a Harvard grad.  So he became an alternative rock star, one of the few jobs (such as academia) for leftist Harvard grads.

Not saying there’s no value to attending Harvard and if a kid from working class Mountlake Terrace gets in, I’ll tell her to go, that it’ll be worth the debt, even if she picks the wrong major and ends up unemployable. This is her chance to experience one of the most competitive environments in the world, and that’s priceless.  This may be her only chance to be socialized into the sort of leader Harvard wants their students to become, to act as Mark Zuckerberg (Harvard drop-out) does in this scene:

Just don’t expect Harvard to socialize every student into a Mark Zuckerberg. A lot of students choose the wrong major and turn into narcissistic victims, like the Yale undergrads from scene below:

Even Yale, which requires its undergrads to live on campus till graduation so they can be socialized into well educated Yale graduates, has trouble socializing some of its students to stop acting like children.  (Well educated people aren’t easily offended).  Imagine what it’s like at a less competitive school, what are students there turning out to be?  Are they trained to be offended by everything?  Point is, the value of an elite school is in the experience, not in the results.  And there are many comparable experiences that don’t cost anywhere near 250k and don’t have anything to do with college, if you’re willing to let them have it.

Free College Movement
Yet some, led by Bernie Sanders (who ironically graduated from The University of Chicago) and President Obama (who ironically was an adjunct at The University of Chicago), support free college education — even at the community college level — in an effort to help businesses and the poor.  This is another misguided effort. It won’t help businesses, it’ll burden them with taxes for education that produce fuck ups that they’ll have to retrain.  It won’t help the poor, it’ll humiliate them and teach them that they alone are not capable of becoming well educated and well employed.  It won’t help anyone except for the envious and those who channel their contempt for those less fortunate as feudal benevolence.  The Last Psychiatrist, commenting on this madness:

All the system had to do, starting around 1965, is not incentivize this madness.  If there were not guaranteed student loans, up to any amount, available equally across majors and across colleges, independent of skills or promise or societal need, none of this would have happened.  Easy money got us into this mess, and easy money will keep us sailing until we go right off the edge of the map.

And into the abyss, where we’ll be serving Big Mac and fries to a new Master.

3-bernie

Despite his degree from University of Chicago, nobody wanted to hire him because he had no skills and was uncoachable.  So he became a politician.

 

 

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Frequently Asked Questions XV

General

Is it really true that you lock employees in freezer?
Define “lock” and “freezer.”

Dude, where did you get that black eye?
Back alley, behind the store.

Were you attacked by Social Justice Warriors who saw your job ad? (someone really asked this)
No.

Did you read Milo’s book Dangerous?  
Yes.

Is it as offensive as they say it is? 
As offensive as Eminem, Socrates, Nietzsche, Dr. Dre, Quentin Tarantino, Leonard Cohen, Georges Bataille, and a few parts of the Bible.  Less offensive than middle-class architecture and manners.

He was so offensive, they sentenced him to death.

 

Etiquette
Should my children go to etiquette school?
No.

How will they learn good manners?
They won’t at etiquette school. They’ll learn middle-class manners.

What’s wrong with middle-class manners?
Nothing if you don’t mind having a meal with a chopstick up your ass.

What are good manners?
Good manners isn’t a matter of following a set of procedures because appropriate conduct changes culture to culture, household to household: it depends on situation.  Well mannered people are observant, adaptable, and practical, thus able to be at ease in any cultural environment.  Etiquette school is a product of English colonialism and its purpose is to teach the middle-class to look down on those who don’t follow a set of procedures, even when the procedures don’t make sense.

Example?
To justify English colonialisn, a bunch of White Anglo Saxon Pricks taught that civilized people sit in chairs, while uncivilized (and deserving to be colonized) people squat.  Now we know that squatting is healthier than sitting in a chair.  Would you rather be “civilized” or healthy?

English decided to colonize these people because they have bad manners. Like squatting while eating and slurping their noodles.  They also eat with chopsticks instead of shoving them up their asses.

Sugar Tax

What do you think about the recently passed sugar tax?
It’s another one of those condescending taxes meant to humiliate the poor, while making liberals feel good about themselves.

What do you think of the new job and education programs the tax will fund?
When you treat people like children they become children.  These programs, like most government programs, will be useless and impossible to get rid of once entrenched in the bureaucracy.

Doesn’t the tax help your business?
No and it creates a dangerous precedent. The debates about which drinks qualify are sure to get nastier and more confusing.

 

These people think they’re refined and sophisticated. Even though every one of them has a chopstick up their ass.