Frequently Asked Questions Part IX

On Juice and Juice Fasts

Should I go on a juice fast?
No.

Wait, this is a juice bar, why not?
You need fat, protein, and fiber in your diet.  You need fat to absorb vitamins such as A, D, E, and K; protein so your organs function properly and you don’t lose so much muscle mass that you hurt yourself while carrying the groceries; fiber so you can take a good poop.

Then what’s juice good for?
Convenience.  Fresh juice is energy and nutrient dense. Two oz = one serving.  So our large veggie juice = 6-7 servings. Anyone who says juice will save the world is either a liar or a moron.

Do I still have to eat veggies if I drink juice?
Yes, you need the fiber.

Does owner believe in naturopathic approaches to wellness?
Yes, he adheres most closely with Dr. Andrew Weil’s holistic approach to health and medicine. Note that Dr. Weil is a practicing medical doctor and a naturopathic doctor.  Meaning, his approach is still grounded in scientific rigor.  Which is why he **warns** us about the fantastic promises of elixirs such as wheatgrass and ionized water.

Can you make juice from a recipe I bring in?
Yes, only if you bring in the produce.

What’s that you’re making?
Tepache, an alcoholic Mexican drink made by using yeast in pineapple rind to ferment pineapple juice.  We discovered it by accident.

Is it for sale?  
No.

Kids

My kid is a pain in the ass.  What should I do?  
Toss him out, starve that little fucker.

You really think he’d survive even a week on his own? 
Dunno. If he doesn’t, just make or buy another one to replace him.

Did you tell my kid to toilet paper the neighbor’s house?  
Yes.

Why did you do that? 
She’s nine.  She can still get away with it.

What sort of parent would be crazy enough to let their kid work for you?
The sort who makes their kid place her own order.

What’s it to you if I place my kid’s order for her?  
It’s to the owner’s benefit that you not fuck up the labor pool.

General

Why doesn’t the owner allow customers to compliment employees?
An honest evaluation is always welcome, positive or negative.  For instance: “This is good, thanks.” Or, “This tastes like shit, fix it.” Compliments are not ok, eg. : “You make the best drinks, better than anyone else.”  A callow employee will interpret that as: “I am the greatest, everyone should suck my dick.”  Only a mature employee will recognize that nearly all employees hear that compliment because taste is subjective; that such a compliment doesn’t mean much.

Flattery is the sound of the devil’s laughter and has ruined many people.  You end up with employees who grow complacent — like the spouse who takes the other for granted — they stop trying and start taking short cuts. When confronted with their mistakes, they cite the customers who have complimented them, rather than fix the problem that they refuse to recognize.

How can I tell an employee I appreciate their work?
Tell the owner about the employee.  Let him control the flow of compliments, he has a better sense of how much affirmation each employee needs without turning into narcissistic douchebags addicted to narcissistic supply. He’ll release the compliment when it’s appropriate, when he knows it won’t ruin them.