Video Questions

The bus shows up 10 minutes late, making you 10 minutes late to school. Whose fault is it that you’re late?
a) Bus driver’s
b) Traffic’s
c) My fault

Customer greets you with: “Hi, how are you?” How do you respond? 
a) I’m doing very well. How are you?
b) What do you want?
c) I’m making rice and beans. Try some!

Your co-worker moved something to wrong place and you know it’s in the wrong place. Manager asks why it’s in the wrong place. How do you respond?
a) She put it there, not me.
b) I don’t know, no idea how it got there.
c) I’ll move it.

Cassie’s daughter is throwing ice cubes at other customers. What do you do?
a) Tell them to “get the f*&% out.”
b) Politely ask Cassie to tell her daughter to stop
c) Throw ice cubes at them.

You’re the principal of the school. You visit a class where students are either goofing off or sleeping. What do you do?
a) Tell everyone that anyone who doesn’t pay attention will get failing grade for the day.
b) Don’t do anything. Privately tell teacher that he sucks at teaching, that’s why nobody is listening.
c) Explain to students why it’s important for them to pay attention to their teachers.

You’re sampling drinks. What do you say to get someone to try one?
a) “Hi, would you like to try this?
b) “Try this.”
c) “Drink this or I’ll hit you.”

What matters most to MOST customers when buying something to eat?
a) taste
b) cost
c) how healthy it is.

How do you produce kids who will become confident adults with healthy self-esteem?
a) Tell them how amazing, wonderful and special they are.
b) Set higher and higher expectations and expect them to achieve them.
c) Try to build a stress free environment for them so they can achieve their goals.

Who is most likely batshit crazy?
a. Tiffany
b.Olga
c.Phuc-Dat

Who will most likely grow up to be batshit crazy?
a. Angelo
b. Tyrone
c. Chelsea

Who is most likely batshit crazy?
a. Carmela
b. Ching Chong
c. Paradise

Whom do you feel most sorry for?
a. Boy named Suzie.
b. Girl who eats chicken feet
c. Girl who smells like chicken feet.

Why did Bobby go crazy?
a. Suzie stole his X Box
b. He farted in class and everyone heard it.
c. He got an F in class.

Whom should Darth Vadar Kill? 
a. Batman
b. Superman
c. Wonder Woman

Whom should Wonder Woman save if she can only save one?
a. Darth Vadar
b. Superman
c. Batman

Who would win if they fought?
a. Superman
b. Batman
c. Wonder Woman

Someone leaves knives in soapy water.  What do you do to make sure that person never does it again?
a) Tell her that doing that can hurt someone, that she needs to think about the consequences of her actions.
b) Lock her in the freezer for an hour.
c) Fill sink with soapy water and knives. Have her wash knives.

How do you produce kids who will become batshit crazy as adults?
a) Tell them how wonderful and special they are, all the time.
b) Beat the shit out of them every day.
c) Ignore them, that’s the worst kind of abuse.

Your 8 year old is new at school.  He gets shoved out of lunch line and is told to get to the back.  He responds by beating the shit out of the kid who bullied him.  What’s your response?
a) Ground him and make him apologize to kid he beat up.
b) Tell him he did the right thing and to never worry about lawsuits, you’ll take care of those if they come up.
c) Have your kid apologize to the kid he beat up and have them talk it out.  End with hug.

Your daughter loves gymnastics and is about to enter her first meet.  She’s confident about winning and even thought about the perfect place to hang her blue ribbon.  While she did well, she didn’t medal, and was devastated.  What do you, as a parent, tell her?
a) Tell her you thought she was the best
b) Tell her she has the ability and will surely win next time.
c) Tell her she doesn’t deserve to win because she didn’t work hard enough.

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Resume Workshop (for teens) Part V — References, ECs, etc.

Link to Parts I, II, III, IV

References
Don’t bother if you’ve never had a job. Pastor, teacher, neighbor…don’t care about their opinion if I don’t know them personally.  We (most business owners) can spot biased/bullshit references (even if they hire you).   These work against you.

If you want a reference from a present or former employer, pay her back with a nice gesture.  She doesn’t owe you a reference.  Give her an updated resume and personal statement so she can catch up with your present character and vision.  The more effort you put into updating your resume and personal statement, the more likely she’ll write a convincing reference, a reference full of examples of your competence.  People want to help you.  But you have to show you’re worthy of their time.

Extra Curriculars
These are important to me and *some* business owners and hiring managers.  Participation in anything competitive shapes character.  Football, for instance, is often a story about courage, how a smaller player gets up repeatedly to face bigger, faster, and stronger adversary.  Solo music competitions train participants to perform under pressure and spotlight, to conquer fear of failure.  Same with theater.  So list extra curricular activities.  Not too many, or they may think you’re a dilettante or superficial.  Focus on becoming good at a few.  Be really good at one hobby.  It’ll help people remember you. It’ll show you’re able to focus on a task.  You’ll probably learn more playing baseball than in Spanish class.

If you haven’t done well in your extra curricular activities — bit parts in theater, benchwarmer on last place team — that will hurt you.  At least with me.  I’m all for failure — children need to grow accustomed to failing — but losing can become a habit. There’s a difference between failing and losing.  Those who consistently finish last (or close to last) usually have low standards that are in conflict with high parental expectations.  (Result of inflated self-esteem, where parents tell children they’re wonderful and can be anything they want, but don’t provide them with enough painful experiences to prepare them to become what they want to be).

Final Thoughts
Most teens stop learning in school at around 8th grade.  That ok.  Those of you who have a 2.0 gpa, don’t fret.  Anyone who tells you you’re stupid because of your grades (you probably are stupid, but for other reasons), knock him down.  Thomas Edison, Abraham Lincoln, Andrew Jackson, Marco Pierre White, Benjamin Franklin, none of them have high school degrees.  All began working before teenage years.  They did most of their learning at work.  They worked with focus, perseverance and alacrity.

If you’re a 4.0gpa student, you’re not smart and stop talking to anyone who tells you you are, even if they’re your parents.  Bill Gates, who was the top math student at the top high school in the Pacific Northwest (Lakeside) was convinced of his brilliance.  Until he got to Harvard.  Now he considers himself above-average in intelligence.  If he’s merely above-average — 1590 (out of 1600) on his SATs — then what are you?  Be humble.  Always compare yourself to the best.  You don’t need to be the best, but you need to grade yourself fairly.

Don’t allow yourself to treat your childhood, especially teenage years, as delay of adulthood.  Childhood is training for adulthood and adulthood can begin at any age.  Age 9, 60, never, it’s up to you.

Application Questions Explained Part II

Below are the questions we get most questions about.

Communication Skills Section

Pick best sentence:
a) Would you mind bringing me some beets when you get a chance?
b)  Get beets now.
c) Hey fucktard, get your ass over there, get some beets and bring it over here.

Be concise.  Most people are trained to say “A,” as that’s considered polite.  It’s actually stupid because more words means more communication errors and wasted time.  Always choose to be effective than polite.

Salesperson calls, asks “Hi, how are you doing today?” How do you respond?
a) What do you want?
b) I’m fine. How are you today?
c) I feel like shit.  I want to beat the shit out of someone.

Translate what they’re saying.  “Hi, how are…today” = “Hi.”  Don’t get involved in pointless small talk, don’t waste time.

Pick best sentence for love-text:
a) Your scintillatingly luminous presence inspires and captivates my yearning heart to take an unsolicited leap of impossible faith into the great unknown of the comfort of your arms.
b) My darling, my heart aches for your presence and to finally be in your arms
c) Let’s cuddle.

Be concise, avoid pretentiousness.

Your partner tells you you’re lazy.  How do you respond?
a) Takes on to know one, asshole.
b) Why am I lazy?
c) You never see all the things I do for you.

Always acknowledge what another person is feeling and thinking, even if you disagree.  Unless you want a stupid fight that wastes time.

Sense of Reality Questions

Those who’ve been in highly competitive environments tend to get these questions correct.

What happens when school district gives middle-class high school students their own laptops?
a) Playing field is leveled, they perform almost as well as those rich privileged kids at elite private school like Lakeside.
b) They use it to watch movies and play games, no change in academic performance.
c) They perform worse, laptops make people stupid.  (Though a customer made strong case for C).

All teenagers get this question right because they see first hand what’s going on at school.  Half their parents get this question right.  Those who get it wrong are delusional.  A couple of parents made strong argument for  “C,” citing Silicon Valley CEOs  who limit time their teenagers use computers because computers hinder development of certain skills.  But I still don’t think computers make people stupid.  People make themselves stupid and they’ll find a way to do that without computers.

Choosing A is dangerous.  It’s a stupid excuse that keeps people down.

Your 8 year old is new at school.  He gets shoved out of lunch line and is told to get to the back.  He responds by beating the shit out of the kid who bullied him.  What’s your response?
a) Ground him and make him apologize to kid he beat up.
b) Tell him he did the right thing and to never worry about lawsuits, you’ll take care of those if they come up.
c) Have your kid apologize to the kid he beat up and have them talk it out.  End with hug.

Something like this happened to former employee and his parents told him he did right thing and to never worry about lawsuits.  And this is what Eddie Huang (ABC sitcom Fresh Off the Boat is based on his life) did when he arrived at new school.  His father approved:

A hardened, street-smart man, Louis had been sent by his own father to the United States to get him away from the hoodlums he had been running with in Taipei. “We wouldn’t get in trouble with our dad if we got into a fight,” Emery said. “We would get in trouble if we didn’t win.”

Huang said the experience of earning people’s respect made him who he is today.  It made him feel that he controls his destiny.

Your daughter loves gymnastics and is about to enter her first meet.  She’s confident about winning and even thought about the perfect place to hang her blue ribbon.  While she did well, she didn’t medal, and was devastated.  What do you, as a parent, tell her?
a) Tell her you thought she was the best
b) Tell her she has the ability and will surely win next time.
c) Tell her she doesn’t deserve to win because she didn’t work hard enough.

Lifted this question from a parenting site.  Choice “A” is a lie (unless you’re qualified to judge) and enough of these “nice and polite” lies will fuck someone up.  Choice B can get you into more trouble, what happens if she doesn’t win next time?  And it doesn’t address the reason why she didn’t win, that she didn’t work hard enough.  Choice C teaches kid that she’s responsible for her place in society.

Someone leaves knives in soapy water.  What do you do to make sure that person never does it again?
a) Tell her that doing that can hurt someone, that she needs to think about the consequences of her actions.
b) Lock her in the freezer for an hour.
c) Fill sink with soapy water and knives. Have her wash knives.

You can’t tell someone to be empathetic, you have to force them to experience what another person experiences.   That’s how you teach empathy.

Character Questions

Do you believe in self-love?
a) No, only those who are chronically unhappy and deeply troubled believe and need that shit.
b) Yes, in this time of hate, we all need to love ourselves more so we can love others more.
c) No, self-love is a moral flaw, like vanity and selfishness.

It’s like the adage about people who keep saying they’re happy — they’re not happy because happy people don’t need to remind themselves that they are.

If someone feels the need for self-love, that person is fucking up but refuses to take responsibility for the fuck ups.  Mind and body responds with self-loathing.  Most dangerous self-lovers are those who portray themselves as so self-sacrificing that they forget to take care of themselves.

How many of your close friends routinely preach “self-love” philosophy?
a) 0
b) 1-5
c) 6 or more

People and emotional states are contagious.  (That’s why we’re so selective about customers, too many of the wrong customers and employees get infected).  Won’t hire anyone who picks C.

 

Correct Answers to Old Application Questions

Let us know which questions you want explained.  We’ll post explanations later.

 

What’s Plato’s Republic about?
a) Why we’re all dumbasses
b) The meaning of life
c) How to be happy

Do you believe in self-love?
a) No, only those who are chronically unhappy and deeply troubled believe and need that shit.
b) Yes, in this time of hate, we all need to love ourselves more so we can love others more.
c) No, self-love is a moral flaw, like vanity and selfishness.

How many of your close friends routinely preach “self-love” philosophy?
a) 0
b) 1-5
c) 6 or more

Do you consciously practice self-love each day?
a) Yes, of course!
b) Nah, don’t have time for that, got better things to do.
c) I jerk off every day, does that count?

Why are you so stupid?
a) I’m lazy and obedient, so I don’t ask enough questions.
b) I’m confused and bored, I don’t see the point.
c) I’m not stupid, I’m brilliant!

Why are you so smart?
a)I’m not smart, only stupid people think they’re smart
b)I’ve always worked hard and set the highest standards for myself. I took the most challenging courses and tasks and wouldn’t accept anything less than an “A” at school and at work.
c) I’m naturally smart, it’s God given.

How often do you screw up?
a) Rarely, and when I do, it’s someone else’s fault.
b) Never. Hire me and you’ll see my awesomeness.
c) All the time, I’m such a fuck up.

Why are you so lazy?
a) I daydream a lot.
b) I’m not lazy.
c) I make excuses and blame others when something goes wrong.

Why are you so stupid?
a)I don’t know what I don’t know.
b) For the last time, I’m not stupid, I’m brilliant!
c) You’re the dumbass for asking this dumbass question.  This is some fucked up shit, I’m out, motherfucker.

Someone leaves knives in soapy water.  What do you do to make sure that person never does it again?
a) Tell her that doing that can hurt someone, that she needs to think about the consequences of her actions.
b) Lock her in the freezer for an hour.
c) Fill sink with soapy water and knives. Have her wash knives.

How do you produce kids who will become confident adults with healthy self-esteem?
a) Tell them how amazing, wonderful and special they are.
b) Set higher and higher expectations and expect them to achieve them.
c) Try to build a stress free environment for them so they can achieve their goals.

How do you produce kids who will become batshit crazy as adults?
a) Tell them how wonderful and special they are, all the time.
b) Beat the shit out of them every day.
c) Ignore them, that’s the worst kind of abuse.

Who is most likely to become batshit crazy?
a) White trash girl who knows she’s White trash
b) Rich kid slumming it with the hobos
c) Middle class girl who thinks she’s high society

What do you work for?
a) Praise and Reward
b) Sense of Achievement
c) God’s grace

Hypersensitive people are:
a) Special and Deep
b) Self-absorbed and Narcissistic
c)  Insightful and and Empathetic

What happens when school district gives middle-class high school students their own laptops?
a) Playing field is leveled, they perform almost as well as those rich privileged kids at elite private school like Lakeside.
b) They use it to watch movies and play games, no change in academic performance.
c) They perform worse, laptops make people stupid.  (Though a customer made strong case for C).

Your 8 year old is new at school.  He gets shoved out of lunch line and is told to get to the back.  He responds by beating the shit out of the kid who bullied him.  What’s your response?
a) Ground him and make him apologize to kid he beat up.
b) Tell him he did the right thing and to never worry about lawsuits, you’ll take care of those if they come up.
c) Have your kid apologize to the kid he beat up and have them talk it out.  End with hug.

Your daughter loves gymnastics and is about to enter her first meet.  She’s confident about winning and even thought about the perfect place to hang her blue ribbon.  While she did well, she didn’t medal, and was devastated.  What do you, as a parent, tell her?
a) Tell her you thought she was the best
b) Tell her she has the ability and will surely win next time.
c) Tell her she doesn’t deserve to win because she didn’t work hard enough.

What effect does raising teacher wages have on teacher performance?
a) They don’t perform any better or worse, people are creatures of habit
b) They perform better, money improves morale
c)  They perform worse, money corrupts.

How do you improve academic performance at a school?
a) Increase funding so facilities can be improved.
b) Increase number of (real) Asian students
c) Increase salaries so teachers work harder

How do you get someone to love you? 
a) Go out of your way to do things for that person.
b) Get them to do something for you.
c) Hire a witch and cast a spell.

How many hours a week does the CEO of Walmart work?
a)100
b)70
c)40

How many hours a week does Eminem work?
a) 100
b)70
c)40

How many hours a week does 50 Cent work?
a) 100
b) 70
c) 40

What was Eminem likely doing on random date, 2003?
a) Getting high and smacking his hoes
b) Working alone in recording studio, repeating same three lines over and over again because he demands perfection from himself.
c) Getting his dick licked by two of his dancers.

What does the CEO of Walmart do all day?
a)Figures out new ways to exploit hard workers like me.
b)Sets strategy and vision, negotiates partnerships, builds company culture, and manages supply chains to ensure consumers get what they want when they want it.
c)Recording himself banging his hot secretary.

What was Tupac Shakur most likely doing during a typical evening?
a) Reading Machiavelli’s The Prince.
b) Drinking his 40 and smacking his hoes
c) Having a threesome and some cocaine.

What was 50 Cent doing on a random Saturday night, 2006?
a) Getting fucked up his ass by his trainer, who resembles Justin Bieber
b) Working out, writing songs and negotiating business contracts.
c) Sucking your mom’s big black dick, what the fuck does this have to do with this stupid job?

What’s most important to most customers when they order food?
a) cost
b) taste
c) health

Earthquake during math class! Big enough to topple bookshelves. Nobody is hurt, everyone is okay, just jittery. What do you, as teacher, do?
a) Stop class, act jittery and anxious because that’s how you feel.
b) Have students clean up mess and continue class as if nothing happened. Assign double amount of homework and quizzes for rest of the week.
c) Stop class, bring in school psychologist to discuss how everyone is handling the event and “post-traumatic stress disorder.”

What percentage of business fail within 5 years?  
a) 50
b) 20
c)2

Are business owners entitled to a living wage?
a) Yes, everyone deserves a living wage
b) No, it’s her fault she sucks at work and life.
c) No, but there should be programs to help business owners succeed.

Communication Skills

Pick best sentence:
a) Would you mind bringing me some beets when you get a chance?
b)  Get beets now.
c) Hey fucktard, get your ass over there, get some beets and bring it over here.

Salesperson calls, asks “Hi, how are you doing today?” How do you respond?
a) What do you want?
b) I’m fine. How are you today?
c) I feel like shit.  I want to beat the shit out of someone.

Pick best sentence for love-text:
a) Your scintillatingly luminous presence inspires and captivates my yearning heart to take an unsolicited leap of impossible faith into the great unknown of the comfort of your arms.
b) My darling, my heart aches for your presence and to finally be in your arms
c) Let’s cuddle.

Pick best sentence for first sentence of novel:
a) Dreary black skies loomed as the violent waves crashed onto glittering rocks that have never met such punishment.
b) It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents — except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets.
c) Fucking hurricane knocking down trees.

Technician finally calls you back.  He asks: Hi, how are you doing today?” How do you respond?
a) I’m fine, how are you today?
b) How do I fix this problem?
c) This problem is driving me crazy.  Because of your fucked up system, I can’t get my kids to school on-time, my cat took a dump on my pillow, and my husband is a lazy piece of shit who wants a divorce.

Your partner tells you you’re lazy.  How do you respond?
a) Takes on to know one, asshole.
b) Why am I lazy?
c) You never see all the things I do for you.