Application for Summer Employment at Alive Juice Bar

We’re not offering summer positions but decided to print out applications for those seeking such a job.  Our updated application questions:

  • What do you think is founder of Hustler magazine (hard-core porn) Larry Flynt’s passion?  If you’re not familiar with Hustler, borrow a copy of ours.  You can also probably find copies at a porn shop.  Be sure to read the articles (esp. editorials and opinions) and cartoons (not available online).
  • Why are you not special?
  • List 3 ways to say “Fuck You” without saying “Fuck You.”
  • Fight in the kitchen.  Hot soup, butcher knife, last month’s receipts.  Which do you throw?
  • Mary hires Peter and Paul to dig two ditches, assigning one to each.  Peter finishes in one hour because he used his latest invention, the super-duper soil remover zapper.  Paul, using a shovel and hard work, finishes his in 8 hours.  How much should Mary pay Peter.  How much to Paul?  Who should she hire if she wants a third ditch?
  • Write the lyrics for fictional song “When a Lamb Loves a Hungry Woman.”  Listen to “When a Man Loves a Woman” for rhythm and melody to match lyrics.
  • Why are your friends boring?  What does that make you?

We’re not expecting any completed applications.  The primary aim of these questions is to trigger internal discussions about our brand, our approach to crafting customer impressions about our brand, and our values and culture.  These questions are also fun exercises that give employees an opportunity to reflect about their value to the world and to help them develop their leadership skills.

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