Updated Store Guidelines

  • Drinks can be customized.
  • Sometimes the customer is wrong.
  • Order what you want, even if you can’t pay for it.
  • You can start a tab.  Pay it off at your convenience.
  • If we find out that you can’t pay your tab because of your lotto and strip club habit, we’ll name a drink after you.
  • Employees are allowed to fight with customers.
  • It’s ok to stare at employee’s ass. Just be discreet about it.
  • We reserve the right to refuse service to assholes.
  • Keep dogs off the tables
  • Shut the bathroom door.  Customers don’t want to see the toilet.
  • Announce all allergies.  Every time you order, not just first time.
  • Don’t ask for artificial sweetener.  At least not when owner is present. Maintain the peace.
  • If you really think that 1oz of wheatgrass is = to eating 2.5 lbs of leafy greens, we’d like to sell you some real estate.
  • Menu is seasonal, so don’t get pissy if you get a pear instead of apple.
  • One of our baristas knows kung fu.  Do you really want to guess the one?
  • Be kind, not nice.  Let us know when something is off.  It takes a village to raise a business.
  • Smile, God is watching you!
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